I very rarely post on give aways, but for some reason something pulled me toward one on Soulemama’s blog.   The photo’s by susannah conway were beautiful and class on healing with a journal and camera I think would do everyone wonders. We all have our battles. I posted, not really thinking about getting anything or winning. I just felt a pull to say something that was all. Have you ever been there. Did something, simple and it turned out for a reason? Like not turning down a road that you would normally take, only to find later there was a huge wreck that took place and it was around the same time as you would been passing thru.

My pull to post was one of those moments. I was picked to receive the pictures. I was delightful and surprised. They came in the mail the other day. Beautiful photos. Full of softness and simple but speaks volumes. I was hitting bottom, I’ll leave out the details. But I broke, a heap of tears that was spending more hours crying than not. And not a thing I could do about the problem but weep.

Wishing I could remove the knife of hurt and let scar tissue cover it. The same knife has been there before. I’ve heard the more your cut, the bigger, thicker the scar tissue becomes. Like a shield of armour. In some ways they are good and others not. But really..I don’t want my shield of armour to be made out of numbness, because repeated exposure to grief has dulled the senses. That’s my greatest fear and sometimes I see it slipping up and wanting to take over. I see anger wanting to replace determination. I see resentment wishing to rule. But that’s not me, never has been. I refuse to let it take me now.

You must be thinking what is going on? I assure you it’s not something uncommon. You’ve experienced a time or two or more in your life. Mine seems to constant trickle however, a never ending battle. And really all I want, All I have ever really wanted was gentle words, love, happiness, encouragement. Joy in my kids laughter, working as family, peace, feeling you get that makes you want to skip through the house, a sense of togetherness. The over flowing feeling when you curl up in a blanket with a loved one on chilly night. No strings attached, no feeling of cringing like a scared animal, Solving problems as a team, working with respect. Those are the things that matter the most to me. I work to have them, to keep them but sometimes it’s like paddling against a current and my arms get weak. I wonder if I can still keep fighting on for those things that I hold so dear to my heart. I know deep down I’ll never give up striving for them no matter how weak I get, but still the hard tears sometimes came. I often feel I will be fighting till the day I die and there such a strong feeling of weight that I don’t know if I can bare. But I try to stay strong. These pictures couldn’t have arrived at a better day. Heal, keep moving forward, fight for what you need and believe they said to me.

Sorry to hurt your ears. I usually like to keep it light and simple here. My place away from the turmoil that sometimes stirs, but sometimes the pitcher spills over and letting it out is needed. I do hope you understand. My sister is coming over tomorrow. Hi Sis! She’s my cruch when I need one. She makes me laugh, dance and dream. I’m so glad to have ya!

I’ve been doing a bit of stamp carving, but I’m not sure where this one’s going. Inspiration was from a vintage table cloth. I love the design, but not sure what to do with. My original thoughts was on a fabric in the kitchen, but I now I’m not sure what I crave to do with it. Hmmm?

You know the old saying..”Life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”

Well, I guess I took it to heart. All this snow, while beautiful and fun for awhile, it does tend feel like the very thing keeping you stuck in the house. A love hate relationship. This time of year is trying for all of us. I know I’m not alone. So, instead of falling deeper in the cabin fever rut, we decided to enjoy the snow while being stuck inside. If you can’t beat it..join it or at least try to not think of it as your enemy. (which I’m having a bit of trouble with) 

Making snow cones, with drink of your choice. The Kids picked kool-aid.

Making snow ice cream. While Ben & Jerry’s has no need to worry about the “snow” cream becoming competition. It’s still fun, adding what every flavor your tongue craves. The kids love it and anything to keep them happy in February is worth it.

• 1 Cup of milk
• 1/2 Cup of sugar
• a couple drops of vanilla
• FRESH & Clean snow.
• Add snow to liquids, stir, keep adding snow till you get your desired thickness.

options: chocolate syrup, strawberries, peanut butter or whatever else you want.

I’m a chocolate ice cream, fudge & pretzel kind of gal, but if it’s vanilla ice cream, a scoop of peanut butter with it. You’ve never tried it? You must!

Shout out to all you that are knee deep in snow.

A bit of cabin fever has set in. We were thinking of things to do and decided to make labels and tags for some of our baskets. You know the ones that are meant for one thing but end up with an array of items, turning into a “junk drawer” sort of basket.  The kids set to work, coloring and designing tags.  Getting organized and they don’t even know it. A sneaky mom.

Making these tags gave me an idea. Something most of you might have already found out, they are really cute! And a very ideal and useful project. You’d thought I discovered the wheel how excited I was about placing these around the house. So I got to work and made a few of my own.

Little labels for my flour and sugar jars. Don’t look to close, these are used quite often. All this lead to a lot of work. (not, really) and we were so famished that cookie making was needed.

Now baking cookies is great, but with it being so cold outside we needed warmth. Hot cocoa to go with it.

And what better way to eat hot fresh chocolate chip cookies with warm cocoa?  Eating them in an apron that was made all by one’s wee little self.  She did need a little help with the peddle. She sat on my lap moving the fabric while I pushed the sewing machine peddle for her. It will be a few more years before she can reach, till then we are partners on the machine.

What are you guys doing to pass the beautiful snow days away?

Last year the kids put a little table by the road and sold some of the tomatoes. It was actually a big hit. My faith in the honesty of public was reinforced as well. It was all by the honor system and the ones that stopped definitely deserved a honor badge.  This year the kids are eager to start a garden, design a farm market stand and even go set one up a few times themselves. I have to admit, I like a small garden. If it gets to big, I loose the enjoyment in the large amount of work it takes. In short, the weeds. But the kids have me excited about planting a garden this year. Filling it full. Maybe it’s the sense that it will be our little community garden. All the family members working together, enjoy it together. Maybe that’s what I’ve needed all along.

First things first. The planning stage, deciding on the seeds.  The world is a classroom. We have already gathered several books from the library, pulled out our seed catalogs, taken favorite books off of our shelves. My little one picked the packs she liked the most. Everyone put in there two cents. We all put our ideas on paper. Now the only thing we need is the soil…but I think that will have to wait for a few more days, at least till some of the snow is cleared away. A clear path to garden center is a must.

Here’s a few of my favorite garden spots….

Chiltern Seeds

Seed Saver Exchange

Dave’s Garden

Park Seed

Baker’s Acres

Palatine Roses

So what kind of garden to you grow?

This last week I’ve been doing a little sprucing up the house. Moving around the living room, changing colors, Dining area received a bit of rearranging as well.  But those were not the only spots. The kitchen in the doll house has a new little gem. The pink table.  Are you in agreement with me, it’s an Adorable little piece of furniture!  The girls painted house has been done for a while but it seemed to fit in the theme of the post. So, I shall share it with you.  I must tell you painting that cat house, was so freeing. Yes, it’s suppose to be a cat house, but I’m thinking not for ours, as his big tummy is not going to fit to well.  We have already tried…he needs a room addition.

Back to freeing….You should try it, grab something, anything, an old cereal box, mailing box, a piece of wood, rocks. What ever you have handy. Grab some bottles of paint, brushes, the kids are a must and paint. No rules, no ideas, no planning. Just dip and color. It was quite fun, all of us painting and giggling at the same time. I was only allowed to paint a small part. But I couldn’t resist adding the little flowers as well, in my February longing for spring blues. Which by the way, I saw a couple robins already. Us northern people watch for those little red breasted friends like there is no tomorrow. They are the usher to warm weather. Early birds this year, so I’m hoping they know something we don’t. But I’m not putting my sweaters away just yet.

My little supporter chimed in this morning, reminding me to take pictures and post.  I love that little girl.  She might not fully understand it, but she has given me strength when it was needed. She keeps me on my toes.

Recycling and reusing once again..a can of black beans. They went from part of our Mexican supper dish to a pencil holder.  A little embroidered horse, of course.  Just when you think a faze will wane, it sparks even brighter.  I see horses sticking around for quite some time.  This was a mother and daughter joint project. I was thrilled to see her sit that long. Working the needle. A couple years ago, she would have given up after a few stitches. 

Hope you all had a Happy New Year!

I always feel so energized this time a year. Beginnings, fresh starts. I guess it’s the starting point in a timeline that seem so much more tangible to me.  Finding pleasure and peace in the little things to come. Letting turmoil of life past go with the flip of a calendar page. I don’t really make resolutions but I do reflex on goals, desires, achievements and what has worked in the past. Building on those stepping stones.

I guess becoming a better mother is always on top of my list. Ways of learning to deal with little spats between siblings. How to handle situations where my kids want to grow, need to grow but finding a way to let them and still provide that hidden safety of hands till they have mature enough to let them go. Guiding them in their interests, cooking better meals, learning to run the house of little smoother so that my time can be spent more on them and myself. One of the things my daughter and I were talking about was creating every day no matter how small. Sometimes during the work in progress of a big project, you can feel like not much is getting accomplished. So the small things are a great salve to the confidence, creative spirit of artist, mother, people as a whole. Seeing, holding and knowing something is complete. It was funny that during our conversation. She slipped in the teacher role and I become the student. She was wanted me to post all our creative things on my blog. A keepsake for her and journal for me. I felt during that moment that she became my partner of this blog. A support I didn’t even know I had. It was a bitter sweet moment, bring me completely full circle with letting them grow.

I guess that’s sort of my word for 2010. Complete. It seems to just fit and feel right to me. It can be used for any aspect of life. Complete……

So as requested my little partner, who ideas will grace more of my pages to comes.  Apple crisp, the requested dessert of New Years Eve.  Funny, I would have thought they’d want cupcakes with bright colored icing. This was made in the evening as you can tell by the poor lighting of the pic. I figured we’d take a picture of a baked apple crisp piece in the morning….but it was completely gone by the time new light of the day had risen over the horizon. I woke up to see my husband eating that last piece.

And the picture above is pin and hair bow holder. I used an old belt of mine. It was part of sweater jacket I once had. It ended up at the thrift store, but the belt I guess didn’t make it. While cleaning out my closet..a new years tradition for me. I found it. It was either throw it away or recycle and reuse. I felt better about the second option. 

So what are some New Years traditions, resolutions, goals or just favorite 2009 moments you have?

Hope everyone had a most wonderful holiday. That you were surrounded by the ones you love. That laughter filled your ears, good food filled your bellies and family and friends filled your hearts.

Yesterday was a pajama day here. A relax, breath, and exhale type of day. While everyone was holed up on the couch with runny noses, curled up in front of a western movie, or huddled in the corner with a new play pretty. I went off by myself and pulled out this quilt, I’ve been working on. I have to admit this quilt has caused me a bit of stress…or at least it did. It started out with excitement, which turned into fretting over the design layout, the over all size, backing. If it could be added to the list of panics, I did. You see, its a gift for a little new addition to our family. No, not my household, but in-laws. This little guys is special and I wanted the gift to be special…but the gift it was late due to this emotion tidal wave. Late to my personal deadline…Christmas day. I was so deflated. But over the weekend, I pulled it out and just let go. Negativity really gets you no where. I thought what really is a handmade gift? One made for my heart to another. A piece of me, my creativity, my love, given to them. Made with thought and kindness, not fretting. So I sat down in front of my machine and stopped thinking. I just did what felt right, no questions asked. Gave myself over to the process. I choose brown thread and the quilting turned into squares design. I loved it. And it all felt good as the machine hummed away.  Now, it feels like I meant it to be. Handmade and quilted with my love. I still have the trim to finish, but I’m excited to see it come together. Complete. Whole.

Not forgetting our feathered friends during the frigid months.  The kids gathered stick from the yard. You can also use rice cakes, pine cones or anything else that wouldn’t harm little birds. They spread a little peanut butter on the gathered wood, rolled them in bird seed, and hung them with cotton string. My animal lover really enjoy this project and my other one was tempted to eat it.